There's Nothing I Fear
by insertcleverandwittytitlehere
Summary: In this missing moments fic, we see what Hermione was thinking when Ron returned in Deathly Hallows. (T rating for one teeny, weeny curse word.)


**A/N:** This is beater 2 of the Chudley Cannons checking in for Round 11 of the QLFC.

 **Prompts:** 6\. blink and

 **All this is Jo's world. I just live in it.**

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Though anger was fueling her attitude, Hermione couldn't help but feel the tiny sliver of relief coursing through her body. He was safe, and therefore she would be safe.

That didn't excuse the fact that she was furious he had left her in the first place.

 _Them!_ Left _them_. Ron had left Harry just as much as he left her. And nothing was going to change the fact that it happened. She would always be angry about it. She promised herself that. No silly schoolgirl crush would change how much rage she felt upon seeing him again. Well, rage and a tiny, eeny, bitsy piece of relief.

Oh, what was a crush anyways? Chemical fluctuations in the brain, norepinephrine and dopamine. Nothing Hermione couldn't logically think herself out of. Any feeling she may or may not have had left when Ron exited their safe hold and Disapperated to Merlin knows where.

 _To snatchers_ , Hermione reminded herself. Ron was explaining to them now about all these horrid wizards looking for a few extra galleons in their pockets. She huffed. After being unceremoniously woken up by Harry, only to have to face Ron dripping wet in their tent, Hermione was determined to remain on the defense. Troll-scented snatchers would not gain Ron any sympathy.

He was holding up his hand now, two of his fingernails missing. "Gosh, what a gripping story,"* she heard herself saying. It may have been a wee bit too harsh, but she pressed on, recapping the events of Godric's Hollow.

Internally, Hermione was still shivering from seeing that awful snake and the remains of Bathilda on the floor. She had never been so scared in all her life. Even having Harry right there next to her, she felt alone and extremely vulnerable. Snakes had not sat well with her since she was petrified by the basilisk in her second year.

At the time in Godric's Hollow, the only thought Hermione had was that she missed her chance to say goodbye to Ron. _But,_ Hermione told herself, _he's here now. So let's say goodbye NOW._

Of course, he did get past their security wards, so maybe she could find out how _that_ happened first, before she kicked him out forever. Harry's thoughts on the subject be dammed. She heard the Chosen One alright—Ron saved his life. And Hermione did too. Many times. She didn't want a parade for it, and Ron wasn't getting a free bed and forgiveness for doing something she would have done herself!

Yeah… she was being too harsh. But so what? He _left_ her. Months ago, they had talked about this. They promised they would never, ever, ever leave each other. And Harry, too, though, come to think of it, Hermione never approached the subject with Harry. It was like it went without saying. But with Ron, she felt it in her heart. She had to let him know she'd be there for him always.

Hermione knew she needed him to say it more than she needed to. It was ridiculous, really. Getting so hung up over a boy like that that she _needed_ him to tell her he'd never leave.

Just a crush. It was definitely gone now though. Completely.

"The Deluminator?"* That was a twist. Hermione felt her icy glare melt, because she was not expecting that bit of information at all. So she pressed, because that's what she does. She figures things out, researches, writes, and analyzes.

And Ron was ready to explain. Hermione dared not even blink. Oh, of course she didn't have a crush on him. She loved him. And she had never in her life felt this kind of capsizing in her life. It was like she was floating on a cloud while falling endlessly. She was blanketed in warm wool and good books while stuck in the freezing cold snow without a hat. She loved him.

But he left. Hermione knew, rationally, that in the end, she'd forgive and forget. But right now she had every right to be upset over his departure. When he first left, she felt empty. She didn't want to talk, and she didn't want to go anywhere. In fact, she wanted to leave. She wanted to find her parents and live out her days in Australia.

Of course, the world would be doomed if she too had left Harry. Then Australia would be nothing but a place to die.

Now, Hermione was faced with an even bigger problem than Ron leaving. Ron came back, and she was stuck with two very opposite emotions: love and extreme disappointment. And, now that she had a moment to mull it over, this type of behavior was unacceptable. Ron couldn't just leave and come back without consequence; she could easily stay mad at him for a little while in order to avoid this happening in the future.

When all was said and done, Hermione curled up in her bed. Harry took first watch, despite Ron volunteering multiple times, and he was already outside, testing out his new wand.

Hermione kept thinking over what had happened. Ron was gone. Ron came back. The locket was destroyed. The locket that was so hard to find. The locket that was hidden in a cave filled with Inferi.

Against her better judgment, she turned to the only other person in the room. "You just stabbed the locket? Nothing else happened?"

Ron looked taken aback. She could tell he wanted to say the right thing to her. "Uh… yeah. I mean, well, it screamed, like Harry said."

Hermione felt her brow knit. "It didn't fight back?"

"Well," he ran his hand through his hair. Hermione reminded herself that it was fine that she loved him, but he needed this cold shoulder for the sake of future instances. "It sorta, um."

"It um'ed? Oh, good. Looks like the rest of this Horcrux hunt will be quite easy," she spat.

Suddenly, Ron's eyes were looking right into hers. "Hermione, look, I want to tell you about it. I do, but I can't. Not right now. It's not the right moment to…"

"Try me." Hermione sat up.

"Please don't make me." He looked so earnest, Hermione wanted to slap him. How dare he make her feel guilty when he was the one in trouble?

When she didn't say anything, Ron continued. "It played on my fears. It—I don't know. This black smoke spilled out of it, and it started taunting me, telling me I was no good for my family. No good for you—"

"Don't." She said. "Don't continue. And don't believe it."

She turned and slid back into her covers. Knowing that she was right wasn't worth hearing him talk like that. And she was already trying to balance out love and anger. She didn't need guilt on top of that.

"Hermione," Ron said after a few minutes. "I'm so sorry. I, I never wanted to leave you. I worried about you every day. I was so scared."

"We worried, too, Ron, but Harry and I had important things to—"

"Not Harry. Just you. I never wanted to leave _you_. I worried about _you_. I was scared, because I didn't know what was happening to _you_."

Hermione didn't want to turn. No. She wanted to stay mad.

But this was more than surface-level. This was serious. Like all their conversations before he left. They were getting to the point in their relationship where they were really talking like a couple who've been together for years.

She rolled over, tentatively looking at him now. He had taken to standing ten feet away, his shoulders slumped downward. "Are you still scared?"

Ron came forward, kneeling down beside her. "You're here, there's nothing I fear… well, except losing you. I am afraid of that. But, I promise, I'm never leaving again. Never, Hermione."

Could he hear her heart beating like a drum too? _Nonsense,_ Hermione chided herself.

She smiled at him. "Well, good. But I'm still mad, okay?"

"You can be whatever you want." He stood and laid a kiss on her forehead. "I'm the one who needs to sharpen up now. You just me Hermione."

Hmph. Holding her iciness would be really hard come morning. _At least_ , Hermione thought, _he's maturing._

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* _Direct quotes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows._


End file.
